My Bittersweet Melody

The fear and shame to express one’s intimate emotions hinders one of the greatest and most honest quality of living. It divides an individual from their true self and separates them from the people they love and environment surrounding them.

Life is beautiful, but there are segments that are almost impossible to accept or tolerate. God has helped me on this journey to see for the first time how terrible events can be turned into good, for these horrid events do not come from Him.

This is the first poem of a simple series I call “Folding Laundry.” Perhaps I will explain in the future where it comes from, but for now it simply is written expressions of missing someone. Context is open to interpretation for we are united by the emotions more than the events themselves.

This is my bittersweet melody.

Grief grabs my throat

 

I wish you could hear this song

As we let our hair loose

Dance on tabletops

Indulge on a bottle of red

Chug iced tea

Whichever sets our tongues free

 

Wonder if my heart will stop

From all this laughter

My face shines with tears

I can’t even remember

Why I felt so blue

 

On repeat

This melody

Intoxicates my ears

My chest grows heavy

Let me slip into a dream

 

You’re so beautiful

Joy looks great on you

 

Sand tickles the sides of my legs

As we run to the beach

It’s always been your favorite

I guess I can see why

You made it your last

 

Hot chocolate burns the roof of my mouth

We giggle at our fuzzy socks

And failed attempts to make a fire

 

The song continues to play

Mostly in my head

 

My heart leaps

This roller coaster captivates my breath

How did I let you convince me…

Never again

This world full of magic

Is our dream come true

Obsessed and intrigued

Like children

 

Hello my bridesmaid

That is, if there is a wedding

But I always thought

You’d be first

Either way

There is love like a sister

 

I like the thought

Of the warmth of your embrace

Leading us

Into old age

 

So much to look back on

Worldly adventures

Cannot forget Paris!

Close calls

Heartbreak

A lot of it

Overcoming it all

Living to tell the unbelievable tales

And of course embarrassing stories

Enough to make a preteen blush

 

This song is coming to an end

Why is this happening so soon?!

 

Not enough time

To read all those dusty books

Become a flight attendant

Meet someone

And show them your love

With your entire life

Call a child your own

 

On the last beat

Of what I thought

Was a sad song

You saw a thousand sunsets

Danced like it was your last day

Loved your family

More than yourself

Experienced a love so great

It felt like you could die

 

Laid on the lawn

To watch a shooting star

Your hair attacked your face

Blown by the wind

In a car

Windows rolled down

Music blasting

Streams of light flashing

Across your dreamy eyelids

 

Now that the song is over

I replay it every day

Feeling every sensation at once

Insanity

Intense deprivation

Yes, lots of sadness

But we’re the kind

To find an ice cream truck

On a hot day

Moving on to better memories

But honestly

I feel like the song never ended

New beats even

Play in my head

 

Songs don’t die

They are only being played

Somewhere else

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” II Corinthians 1:3-5

Photo: August ’16, Davis Island, FL

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